Without Breath
by Kajune
Summary: A short moment in which Ulquiorra's life slowly slips away with Ishida and Grimmjow being unable to do anything in the end.


**Title** : Without Breath

**Disclaimer **: I do not own any of the Characters including Bleach.

**Genre **: Hurt / Comfort / Friendship

**Warning **: Contains Character Death. OOCness. OCs.

**Summary** : A short moment in which Ulquiorra's life slowly slips away with Ishida and Grimmjow being unable to do anything in the end.

* * *

Ishida cups the hand between his palms tightly, silently praying for life to return to it. War is war, they say, and people are always bound to die from it. Yet, although he knows this better than his comrades, he cannot bear to let a person close to _their_ hearts die. The skin is pale, more than usual; a sign of illness. The person occupying the bed inside this dark room is indeed ill, but has been for far too long. Deep, warm breaths escape his barely open mouth, before cool oxygen is claimed and sent down to the lungs. The temperature of this person's forehead is like fire, but the rest of him is so frighteningly cold, like a lifeless body.

Ishida shakes his head intensely, trying to block out all negatives thoughts in case they come true, which recently, they all have. Apart from the other's breathing, the room is silent, nearly too much for the Quincy's comfort. He wants to see, hear and feel life coming from the Arrancar before him. Not the dead orimaginable pained features on his face. If he dies, it would scar his friends for eternity, especially Orihime, who has begun to realize her feelings for the person in question.

To plea for some god to help him is meaningless, for there is no known god but a self-proclaimed one; the man locked up as punishment for his unspeakable sins. If only Quincys could heal, then maybe Ishida could prevent another loss caused by the war currently going on. Ichigo has already gotten his right arm severed, in response to saving Sado and Orihime from the new enemy. He couldn't however, and grudgingly failed to save Ulquiorra too.

Two enemies, were there at the time.

Being at another location while caring for Rukia, Ishida was helpless when Ulquiorra was attacked from behind. No physical injury was sustained, just a poisonous gas intruded his lungs and left him nearly for dead. The one responsible was almost rendered in half by Ichigo's Getsuga Tensho, and is most likely to have died from the injury whether or not his smaller, and seemingly stronger companion managed to help him somehow. Every healing method they had was used to help the Arrancar, but none worked.

Captain Unohana barely managed taking away the spreading virus inside the former enemy herself, but thanks to her, it can be said that Ulquiorra's condition is stable, but Ishida and his friends have doubts, and believe that Unohana too carried some. Out of sympathy, did she say nothing sad. Desiring to stop a look of sorrow from covering his friends's faces, Ishida volunteered to stay behind, and insisted that Orihime went to keep everyone alive. She so wanted to be by Ulquiorra's side, but that request was denied by all. Even the recovered Rukia said she shouldn't.

"Don't die on me now." Ishida mutters, and the returning silence only dies away again by the sound of a door creaking open, surprising Ishida.

"Who are you talking to?" A figure stands by the door, hands in pockets and eyes revealing a tiny bit of worry he has desperately tried to hide, ever since Ulquiorra's 'unfortunate encounter'. Bright light enters the room from behind him, creating a clear shadow on the floor. Ishida blinks slightly before properly registering, who in the world had been near by all this time.

"Him." Ishida admits, knowing full-well that this isn't the time to be stubborn. As brutal as the other can get, Ishida believes he is smart enough to understand that; he simply doesn't like showing it. 'Just like Kurosaki.' Ishida tells himself, with a smile.

Grimmjow enters the room, shutting the door behind him carelessly with a foot. The light is dragged back out, leaving the room back into its dark and gloomy state. Even with hardly any light, Ulquiorra's skin still shines a bit. "Che, whatever." Grimmjow's hand reaches to touch his former companion on the forehead, only to quickly pull back when he realizes how hot the other is. 'He hasn't cooled down even the slightest yet.' Ishida notes.

"Damn it!" Grimmjow loudly curses, hopefully not loud enough to disturb Ulquiorra's sleep. A part of Ishida however, wishes that he does wake him up, so they would both know that he's alive and well. "He's so freaking hot." Ishida nods at the statement, as he smiles a strangely soft smile. There really isn't anything to be happy about, unless he has come to accept that there is nothing he can do. It hurts being useless.

"His skin, is cold." Ishida informs, his own fingers lightly stroking and 'playing' with Ulquiorra's slender ones. In comparison, Ulquiorra's hands are smaller, but also more soft. Sometimes Ishida finds himself wondering if these are the hands of a man or a woman. Clearly, the answer is the former, but since when does a man have such delicate hands that they make sleep rather tempting? Grimmjow doesn't respond, but hesitantly reaches for the arm extended next to the frozen body. This time his hand doesn't pull back, but shivers slightly once in contact. His skin color is worlds different from the other's.

"See?" Seeing as the other isn't going to say anything, Ishida chooses to say something that is rather dangerous. He is an Arrancar of destruction, and questions like that can easily get him frustrated.

"Why the hell is he like that?" Grimmjow asks, his eyes widen in shock as the fingers of his right hand continue dancing lightly along the skin. Every part of him is oddly soft, but if this is the effect of the poison, is questionable, and Ishida hopes not. If it is, then it only means Ulquiorra's condition is getting worse.

"If I knew, there wouldn't be a chance for you to realize this state." Ishida says, feeling a drop of guilt fill his insides. It would be much better, if he could undo this, and make things the way they should be. In truth, should this Arrancar even be alive? Should Hueco Mundo's current king be able to wander into the human world in the name of Ichigo's ally? At first, Ishida had thought not, but after seeing how dear both of them somehow became to his friends, mostly Ichigo and Orihime, Ishida couldn't bring himself to resent either of them for long.

He could only put that feeling of hate on Mayuri, the one to have resurrected Ulquiorra and 'found' Grimmjow.

How the two came into their lives once more as more than Mayuri's personal test subjects is not all pleasent, mostly because of Grimmjow and Ichigo's violent 'greeting'. Orihime's reunion with Ulquiorra was full of tears, all belonging to the former while the latter didn't know how to feel. He even questioned why he still maintained an existence. Boldly, had Mayuri said 'for him'. It had been a long time since Ishida kicked someone that got on his nerve, even more in someone's else stead (Ichigo), and felt good to have sent the crazed Captain into a wall.

As proud as he felt at that time, he now feels awful to only be able to inflict damage, pain and death, instead of being able to heal. The mere thought of it makes him feel unworthy.

"Sure have confidence for a mere Quincy." Grimmjow says, half-heartedly insulting the rare specimen out of habit. Ishida tries not to be offended by it, with his gloominess only supporting that feeling of hate. He doesn't want to start a fight, be it Grimmjow or Mayuri. He doesn't want to start trouble, more so when the offender doesn't truly intend to hurt him. "Anyway, you can go. I'm staying." Ishida is shocked by this, but quickly removes the expression and lifts his head from his hands and Ulquiorra's, and asks a question.

"I'm sorry, but I promised Kurosaki I'd stay here no matter what, and why would you take care of him instead? You should be fighting. You have no injuries!" It was quite relieving to see this person enter this private room with not a scratch on him, which made himself lightly wonder why was he here and not with Ichigo and the others. Only now does Ishida feel the complete need to get the answers. Grimmjow's frown deepens, his hands already back in his pockets. Since when, Ishida wasn't watching.

"I said I will take care of him. I don't give a damn over some petty promise. Let me do the job or I'll make you go." Grimmjow threatens, his tone back to being usually hostile. Since when did he ever care about the Espada he hates outwardly? To ask that question further might result in a cero to his face, but knowing that the conversation is mainly on Ishida staying here or not, he is not above talking about the latter.

"Oi, don't say that. Just tell me why?" Ishida places Ulquiorra's hand back on the bed, moving his own to his sides in case he needs to avoid an attack. He surely doesn't want to have to go defensive or offensive, not in this room, but having spent recent years fighting, he can't help himself but go into preparation for unwanted things.

It takes a minute before Grimmjow answers, making the whole scenario seem very suspicious. Knowing his own life still has meaning, Ishida doesn't say anything. "I owe Ulquiorra one." Grimmjow says, a faint smirk on his face. Ishida examines his features, hoping to be able to tell if that was a lie or not, because he doesn't remember a time when Ulquiorra did anything that needed returning. From Orihime and Ichigo, Ishida has learned that Grimmjow surprisingly has a code of honor. Never will he fight someone injured or fail to return a favor. To believe that this was true took some time, and his unbreakable bond to the two kept Ishida from doubting those words. Now, he is faced with the decision to truly believe it or not.

_He doesn't want to be helpless. _

A soft, unfamiliar voice beckons him to move. Deciding not to be gone for long, Ishida gets up off the chair and prays that Ichigo will forgive him. If it's Grimmjow, would he mind Ishida breaking a promise? "Alright, be gentle." Ishida says, with the slight belief that 'being gentle' isn't possible for someone so muscular and evil. To break someone's bone might be incredibly easy for him, though Ishida has yet to confirm that. Grimmjow doesn't move an inch as the Quincy walks past him, goes for the door and exits the room without another word, but with a stern look that informs Grimmjow he won't be having much time to be here alone.

Grimmjow walks over to the chair by the bed, and sits on it. Hesitantly does he reach for Ulquiorra's still hand and - effortly ignoring the cold shivers it gives him - brings it to his face. If he wants to kill Ulquiorra, he can do so right now, but he doesn't have the guts to attack someone in a state worse than his own. It just isn't his nature. To tell him things as he lies there, possibly dying, would be completely stupid, even if it is quite tempting to give the former superior a lecture or two. They no longer have their tattoos, leaving one brick wall less to stand proudly between them.

Not once, has he ever been this close to Ulquiorra. Not once, has Ulquiorra ever been this defenseless near him.

A sudden change in reality, it seems.

Though Grimmjow would prefer for things not to change beyond this stage.

"Don't die, you freaking bastard." Grimmjow says, his own breaths lightly brushing against the skin that warms up a tiny bit from the contact. No movements are made. "We still have a fight to finish, got it?" They have never made a deal to fight each other, let alone agree on even the tinniest of subjects. Yet, Grimmjow has always told himself otherwise and sometimes tried to make Ulquiorra keep a promise, for the desire to prove his own strength against said Arrancar has been existing ever since they met. The first day they met a while after Ulquiorra's rebirth, and the time Ulquiorra called him 'trash' as the first word said to him.

He was so frustrated by it, but never more than how he felt for that tattoo he bore.

Truthfully, Grimmjow grew to hate Ulquiorra because of everything he was.

Now, he regrets hating him so much that he never confronted him properly, and got their fight. He doesn't want to believe that the breaths he sees the other inhaling and exhaling are his last, if they have been, then he wouldn't be here at all. He would of left to aid Ichigo in taking down Ulquiorra's attacker and the one claiming to one day rule all creations. Out of some unknown force, possibly self-satisfaction, Grimmjow went out of his way to come here and gather hope for Ulquiorra's recovery.

As if doing so could possibly bring the other back to look at him.

Grimmjow has always needed to tell him, that he is actually grateful to have always been called by his first name, just like everyone else.

It is reassuring.

A fight with a very cocky enemy could only be called, super boring.

So slightly as if never happened, Ulquiorra's finger twitches. Grimmjow looks at it with intent, and soon quickly looks back at Ulquiorra's face, seeing a bit of pain on it for the first time. Should that be a good sign or not? Is he suffering, or is he recovering? "Don't die on me now, Ulquiorra." Grimmjow demands. Before he knows it, the chest stops moving and all expression is gone.

Ishida enters the room just in time to notice the slight changes.

He drops the glasses of water, and rushes to Ulquiorra's side.

Grimmjow can only watch in horror, as life seems to have fade from Ulquiorra, ever...so...silently.

_You promised...!_

* * *

**Owari**

* * *

**Date written **: 18th September 2011


End file.
